Tuesday, March 18, 2008

2008 PC Picks for NCAA Tournament

This is for all of my conservative friends, like Raphael, Bill Cunningham in Cincy, Mark Levin in DC. I combine the NCAA tournament with current political analysis.

Let's tackle the Charlotte Region first, North Carolina against Mt. St. Mary's or Coppin State. Coppin State would be preferable because they're from the MEAC which is a historically black college.

Indiana versus Arkansas. Hoosiers versus Razorbacks. Razorbacks are hogs which are nice animals. Arkansas.

Notre Dame versus George Mason. Fighting Irish versus Patriots. Notre Dame. George Mason is named for a dead white male (DWEM). Moreover, Patriots is a negative connotation for liberals because of the Patriot Act and warrantless wiretapping as well as the spying that the New England Patriots did in the NFL.

Washington State versus Winthrop. Cougars versus Eagles. I think the Cougars are an endangered species. Eagles are the American national bird. That's too provincial. We need to be global citizens. WSU.

Oklahoma vs. St. Joe's. Sooners versus Hawks. Hawks. Oklahoma is where a lot of oil companies are and it's a RED STATE (meaning one that voted for Bush).

Louisville vs. Boise State. Cardinals versus Broncos. Cardinals because Cardinals are nice peaceful birds and the Broncos are part of the Wild Western culture which is insensitive to nature.

Butler versus South Alabama. Bulldogs versus Jaguars. Bulldogs are similar to the dogs that Michael Vick tortured so let's take Butler.

Tennessee vs. American. Tennessee. How can we good PC people choose American U.? Let the Rush Limbaugh's root for them.

Detroit Region

Kansas v. Portland State. Jayhawks vs. Vikings. Vikings were DWEMs who raped children and women and ruined the environment. Kansas in a walk.

UNLV v. Kent State. Runnin' Rebels v. Golden Flashes. Kent State was the site of a famous antiwar protest during the Vietnam era, so Kent State is our pick.

Clemson v. Villanova. Tigers v. Wildcats. Villanova is our pick because Clemson is in South Carolina which is a red state and they put up the Confederate flag on the Capitol.

Vanderbilt v. Siena. Commodores v. Saints. Both nicknames are politically incorrect, Commodore is a rank in the military and Saints are religious figures, and as the Left reminds us, we have separation of Church and State in America. However, Vanderbilt is in Tennessee and Siena is in Albany, New York and add the fact that Albany is suffering because of the Spitzer scandal, so we pick Siena.

USC v. Kansas State. Trojans v. Wildcats. Kansas State because USC are Trojans who are Dead White Males.

Wisconsin v. Cal-State Fullerton. Badgers v. Titans. Titans are big and mean and Badgers are harmless animals. Wisconsin.

Gonzaga v. Davidson. Zags or Bulldogs v. Wildcats. Pretty even, but former White House press secretary Tony Snow went to Davidson. Gonzaga by a nose.

Georgetown v. UMBC. Hoyas v. Retrievers. UMBC has never been to the tournament, so like all good liberals, we'll pick the Retrievers.

Houston Region

Memphis v. UT Arlington. Tigers v. Mavericks. Mavericks are dissenters, so we'll take them.
Texas v. Austin Peay. Longhorns v. Governors. Texas is home of Bush, Rove and Halliburton, so we'll take Austin Peay. Besides governors, especially those in New York and New Jersey need a break.

Stanford v. Cornell. Cardinal v. Big Red. Cornell is in the Ivy League, so that's the pick.

Pittsburgh v. Oral Roberts. Panthers v. Golden Eagles. Pitt is the choice for three reasons
1) Oral Roberts are the Eagles, and we need to be global citizens and not so jingoistic.
2) Oral Roberts was a fundamentalist preacher who wasn't as likable as Mike Huckabee
3) Da Coach (Ditka) went to Pitt.

Michigan State v. Temple. Spartans v. Owls. Temple because the Spartans are DWEM's.

Marquette v. Kentucky. Golden Eagles v. Wildcats. Eagles again, so Kentucky is the choice, However, Marquette is in Milwaukee a blue city in a blue state so that's the choice.

Miami v. St. Mary's. Hurricanes v. Gaels. St. Mary's because hurricanes are bad and Miami is in Florida and we all know how Florida impacted the national election the last 10 years or so.

Mississippi State v. Oregon. Bulldogs v. Ducks. Oregon is the choice. Ducks are nice and Mississippi is the home of Trent Lott, who said mean and bigoted things a few years back.

Phoenix Regional

UCLA v. Miss. Valley State. Bruins v. Delta Devils. Miss. Valley State because a) they're a Historically Black college and b) we don't want to offend devil worshippers.

Duke v. Belmont. Blue Devils v. Bruins. Duke are Devils but they're the home of the accused lacrosse guys who were mean to that girl a couple of years ago, so Belmont is the winner.

Xavier v. Georgia. Musketeers v. Bulldogs. Georgia because Musketeers are DWEM's and Xavier is in Cincinnati, home of Bill Cunningham who was mean to Barack Obama. Moreover, they're soldiers which reminds us of the war in Iraq so Georgia is the choice.

Connecticut v. San Diego. Huskies v. Toreros. Toreros are bullfighters, so they harm animals, pick UConn.

Drake v. Western Kentucky. Bulldogs v. Hilltoppers. Hilltoppers are probably small minded folks who listen to Rush Limbaugh, so Drake is the choice.

Purdue v. Baylor. Boilermakers v. Bears. You'd think Baylor, because they're Bears. However, Baylor is in Texas, home of Big Oil and the GOP, so Purdue is the winner.

West Virginia v. Arizona. Mountaineers v. Wildcats. Arizona because Mountaineers messed up the environment and John McCain is from Arizona and he's a Responsible Republican unlike Fred Thompson and other right-wingers like Jeff Sessions.

BYU v. Texas A&M. Cougars v. Aggies. BYU is a Mormon school and the Left doesn't like Mormonism, as evidenced by their treatment of Romney in the Campaign, so A&M. However, A&M won't go far b/c they're from Texas.



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